Speaking of debt...
One thing that
my husband and I decided to do was to stop putting every available penny on the bills and give ourselves a little spending money. If my husband can come up with a different plan that we are both happy with, then I will let you know...until then...this is what we have. I love you papacito. It may be hard to do, but it could be the thing that can break the cycle of us charging more. It is the same as a diet. If you give yourself unrealistic goals and a stringent diet plan and never learn to eat healthfully, you may lose the weight but you will probably gain it back and possibly a little more. But if you take the sensible approach to eating, such as permanently eating the calories you need to sustain you at the weight you want to be at for the rest of your life, rather than a temporary low calorie level to lose weight fast, it may take a lot longer to lose the weight but along the way you will learn permanent eating habits.
With money, if you work up a plan where you put all available money to your debt balance, then soon you will feel the effects of having no money to spend and you will rebel and end up charging more. What my plan consists of; is doing away with the grandiose plans of paying off my debt in a year, or some other unrealistic goal and paying just the minimum payment, as well as giving my husband and myself a little spending money. I bet my husband will feel more excited when I let that cool crisp George Washington cross his palm once a month...all his own to spend as he chooses. If ever there is any extra, then we can put it on debt. That way we can stop using our credit cards and start taking the slow and steady climb out of this mess. The side effect is, that we could actually learn to live within our means.
The problem today is that we have all learned to live in an instant gratification society.
we always hear:
Get rich now,
Lose weight now,
pay off debt now,
But I believe Slow and steady wins the race...crazy, huh?
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Speaking of debt...
Monday, July 30, 2007
first week 194.5
last week 192
pounds lost last week 0
total pounds lost 2.5
Another week and no loss. Am I beating myself up? No way! Do you know why? Because Wednesday (after weighing in at 192 last Monday) I weighed in at a whopping 195 or 196 (I can't remember which). So, my weighing in at 192 today actually represents me getting my over sized tail in gear, on Thursday, by writing up a diet plan, and even more miraculous, exercising every day!!!
I am so excited. I am going to do this, people. Are you with me?
Sunday, July 29, 2007
My friend groovybabe has started a great weight loss forum for UK residents. If by any chance you live in any other location, you can use her alternate forum here. I was a little surprised to see that she had included the good ol' U.S. of A. since we are not really a nation of overweight people. I thought that we had an international reputation of moderation and minimalism.
Anyway, all sarcasm aside, she is trying to get her forums off the ground. If you could go and check them out and maybe give her advice, opinions and oh yeah, just plain use them, it could be a great help to you in your weight loss journey.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
So I wanted to really get down to the bottom of what it was that was contributing to my previous dank mood. I am usually so happy and I can turn any bad situation into an adventure, so I was at a loss to be able to explain what was causing this. I also had a hard time understanding why it was so longstanding. I had been feeling like this for months.
Well, it finally came to a head last Sunday. I was forced to really stand back and look at all my faults (we even dragged out a few of Edgard's for good measure) and I really analyzed what had caused all those heavy months.
In a nutshell:
*I need to lose weight.
I know this little revelation comes as a shock to everyone.
Here is a little story for you all. Last summer I decided to lose weight. I started out at 191.5 lbs. I went to a weight loss clinic where they give you a well balanced diet plan and counseling. They gave me a plan that consisted of 1000 calories ( yeah, I know, don't say it). I did well for one month.... absolutely no cheating. I lost a lot of weight as was expected with such a calorie deficit. The second month was good with a steady weight loss. It was probably a better month considering I was sneaking enough food in to make my daily equivalent about 1400 calories a day. Much healthier for me and with a nice gradual weight loss. I started donating my "fat" clothes (I would never need those again) and buying "skinny" clothes---but not too many, I would be getting even more slender, after all---right? The lowest I hit, weight-wise was 159.
When the scale read that number I was so excited.
One fleeting day.
It was around this time that my subscription, you could call it, to the weight loss center was up. I crumpled. With no outside support the weight started creeping back up...I slowly started putting away my skinny clothes and repurchasing "fat" ones. What a defeat. I felt so frustrated with myself.
*We need to get a handle on our finances.
We are a one income family that likes to spend money that doesn't exist. This is a hard one for me to admit. I think because it is something that can be hidden. Not like a weight problem that is just out there for everyone to see. There are a lot of people who have a problem with money. Then, there are some who do not. I hope that if you fall into the latter category, that you can recognize that, at this moment I don't need to be judged. I need understanding. I feel ashamed. Enough said.
*My home is too cluttered.
This one is really representing a few things, such as not going to bed at a respectable time (I rarely get to bed before 2:00am).
I also want to get up earlier .....gee, wonder why I can't do that one. My kids, bless their hibernating little hearts, sleep until 9:00, but I would like to get up before them and have some time to myself.
Also, I am a person that thrives on organization and cleanliness who doesn't like to pick up after herself. Square that one, if you can. I can't.
*I have not been studying my Bible.
I really feel that this is the most important matter. This is the tie that binds. The others are symptoms of a bigger problem---not the problem itself. I have just let everything else go.
I am, with
some a lot of prayer, conscious efforts to quell extreme bouts of laziness, mixed in with a first attempt and many reattempts and a wonderfully optimistic attitude, going to gain control of these issues.
So here I am ...sending back out some of the love that was sent to me in my trying time, asking for a just a little more hope and help. Thankfully, though, from a much better frame of mind.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
I won a very cool award from Rachel over at like a star.
I have been reading her blog for a while now and really enjoy it. In my search for blogs, I like to find people that I have something in common with and that I can relate to. Not only do we have the same first name...we also have very cute children (look in these baby blues and try to tell me different). I really enjoy her blog because she also has a love for family that comes out in a each of her posts.
In turn I would like to share the love...
Here, in no particular order, are my personal picks for this award:
groovybabe---A fellow fighter of the fat. Always on track. Always bright and cheerful. She is my true inspiration. She writes a darn good blog too!
LadyT---She gives me the biggest laugh. She has such a great writing style. Very honest. Very Raw. Very determined. I love it!!!
As previously mentioned I am a return reader to blogs that I have something in common with. So my last choice is....
Just Married Chilean style--- I may not be married to a Chilean man and now living in Chile but I am married to a Mexican man and wishing I lived in Mexico. Does that count? I basically live vicariously through this well written blog Side note: She is an awesome photographer as well.
You might think that it was easy to choose who to pass this award on to but I guarantee that, out of 48+ blogs that I read daily, it was tough. Check out these blogs and the other great blogs I have listed on my sidebar. Just don't forget little old me.
So for the gals I chose...feel free to paste the award in your sidebar and award this to other blogging ladies that you read and respect.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Loma Hermosa....this is the view that my husband had every day of his life, growing up.
Our nephew Horacio at Antara Mall
Here is a studio that Edgard visited with the guys that he grew up with.
Some of his friends.
Getting to do what he loves.
One of the restaurants that we eat in frequently when we are in Mexico city. (VIP'S)
Edgard had a good time and thankfully missed us and decided to come back. Always nice when that happens. If you would like to see more of the pictures that he took on the trip, then pop on over to our flickr page to check them out.
first week 194.5
last week 192
pounds lost last week 0
total pounds lost 2.5
By the way... I plan to update about where my head has been these last few months and what transpired when I decided to give myself a cold hard and appraising look. I feel so much better. I can't wait to give you all the details. I just have to say, though, that everyone that wrote me comments and e-mails are just so beautiful. I really appreciate that people who don't really know me, barely know me, or know me well enough to see all my hideous faults, gave me all those words of encouragement. You are all so appreciated. Stay tuned for what brought this all to a head.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I'm feeling a bit down right now so I am going to keep this short.
Can you tell me why the world's most bubbly person (me) is so angry. I have been snapping at my husband and my best friend lately.
I feel it.
They also have mentioned it.
I think that I have gotten better with my best friend but that still leaves it for my husband. What is wrong with me!!!
Where is this edge coming from.
I am taking everything ultra personal. This is not a one time isolated incident, either. I have been snappish for over a month. I can't even chalk it up to a recent problematic situation, though this situation ended up maximizing my personal feeling of anger about ten times, so what is this?
Most importantly how do I get rid of it?
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
You may or may not remember how I had decided to surprise my husband when he got in from his flight from Mexico city. If not, here is the original post for your perusal. I then mentioned it again in the first half of this story which, again I will link to another post (first half of this story) for your perusal. I will assume that you did all of the tedious back reading...or can I assume that you know every word of my blog by heart? I am sure the latter is the case, right?
But just in case...here is an excerpt from my original post about the surprise for Edgard:
"I have another surprise up my sleeve for Edgard. He is flying into a city that is 2 hours distant. When he left, he parked the truck at a motel for a lower fee than the airport's long term parking. Now he is going to arrive Saturday night at 10:00 p.m. and by the time that he goes through customs and catches the shuttle to the hotel to get his truck it will be quite late and he still has a two hour drive in front of him. So this is the plan. My mom is driving up to the same city tomorrow. The children and I will go ahead and drive my mom up to the hotel where she will take the pickup from there and continue on to her destination and we will stay at the hotel. When Edgard gets to the hotel, late and tired, he will see our car instead of the truck with a note saying "Your nutty little family is room ###".
I think that he will be very surprised and pleased since he has called saying that he is very homesick and lonely for us. Plus he can see the newly painted house in the daylight and with a little more sleep!"
So the plan went fine until about two hours before Edgard was supposed to be discovering his truck (one hour before the airplane touched down) he called me. Many thoughts flew through my mind. I thought that he must be calling from the airplane (I also saw dollar signs flying away) and then I thought maybe he got in incredibly early. About the same time the real reason hit me, Edgard verbalized it: "I'm still here in Mexico City".
He was so homesick, the poor guy, and I was so Edgard-sick ( I mean that I missed him---not that I was sick of him)
He was supposed to catch a connecting flight to Guadalajara, have a two hour layover and then catch his flight home. When he got to the airport, however, the board announced that it, the connecting flight to Guadalajara, was canceled.
SO he went to the desk---we will call it, desk "A"---to ask what his next step should be. In his cute optimistic little mind he felt that it would be a simple matter of catching a different flight to Guadalajara and then his original straight shot back home. That flight wasn't canceled. So he asked the lady at desk "A" what he needed to do and wanted to know what was going on. Her answer? "You need to proceed to desk "B" sir".
He proceeded to desk "B". In fact he proceeded halfway across the airport.
It is a huge airport.
That was a lot of proceeding for a guy who walks funny (he really does...you should see it--very cute) Once he arrived at desk "B" and asked his questions...the person there said "You need to proceed to desk "C" sir". So he proceeded half of the way back to where he originally proceeded from in the first place. Same questions...same answer (only this time insert desk "D") More proceeding...more asking. This time the lady at desk "D" said "you need to be at desk "A" sir". You guessed it...more proceeding. He was actually in a group of about 8 other people at this time that were all trying to either hop a flight to Guadalajara or at least get an answer of what was going on. When he and the other fellow "proceeders" reached Desk "A" they were finally told the flight was canceled.
Not exactly a revelation by this point. Especially considering all of their airport meanderings had taken and hour and a half and the other flight was about to leave anyway.
In the end he got a free room and free meals and a first class flight home the next day. Not too terribly comforting considering that his wife was paying for a hotel room and meals for herself and his two children back home for what, in the end, would amount to 3 days and nights. I also had to tell him the surprise over the telephone when he expressed concern for his pickup truck being parked past the alloted time. I know, I know, I know that I still could have surprised him all the same had I shut my blabber mouth...but cut me some slack...I was sitting on the very big surprise of a newly painted house. It was all just too much for me!
By the way, he loved the house but it was almost anticlimactic (much like this post) at this point since we were all tired and he had to go right back to work the next day. He was just so glad to be back home that he would have been happy even if it was tie-dyed. It sunk in the more he got used to it and the more he heard about what it took to complete it.
My next post will be some of the pictures that he took while in Mexico City.
Monday, July 16, 2007
first week 194.5
last week 189
pounds lost last week 3(gained)
total pounds lost 2.5
I would like to blame it all on the cupcake---and it was a good cupcake---but it was also the hazy blur of a weekend of uneaten pasta salad that I had to finish. Did I mention that love pasta salad and since I had to finish that pasta salad I might as well wash it down with a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, right? Well lets just say it wasn't pretty. This wasn't even in the realm of emotional eating. This was just eating.
So I was thinking of all the reasons that I want to be skinny. The things that top the list are all very superficial but I think that if the superficial ones help me---read: motivate me---attain my goal, then the important ones (i.e. be alive for my family) will benefit too, right? So, does it matter if I want to be skinny so that I can be the hot mom or that I want to be skinny so that if I see my husband's ex girlfriends I can secretly say "ha ha ha, in your face, he married allllll this." By the way I can still say that....but "allllll this" just takes on a whole new meaning right now. So I would like to hear from you all what it is that motivates you. What makes you stick to whatever goal you have? I don't care how superficial or how important it is....what is it that makes it goal-worthy for you?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
p.s. I just have to say that I ended up killing all the grass while Edgard was gone (surprise honey) so that it definitely doesn't look very good. Maybe Edgard can work his magic......with the grass, I mean.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Painting the frigging house.
Just a little side note on the weather. We had expected 80 (or less) degree weather for our project but what we got was a furnace. You know the kind of heat I am talking about, right? You walk out in it and it takes your breath away. You work out in it and your whole body is swollen and starts throbbing in a few minutes. Even after nightfall you open the front door to a humid outdoors.
Let me give you a little time line so that you can understand what was going on:
Saturday June 30th----Edgard leaves for the airport at 4:00am and my mom and I get started painting the back of the house when we awakened. My sister Mary, 13 years old, babysat the children. The plan was to avoid the hot sun at all cost, like vampires. The back was also less scary place to start, away from the stares (or glares) of the neighbors. We got a full day in and nearly finished the entire back of the house. The plan at that point was to do the front and trim in one day (Monday) after finishing the sides that Sunday. Sounds great, right?
Sunday July 1st----We continue to finish up painting the back (my sister still babysitting) and then start on the sides. I was basically painting stripes over the entire house as far up as I could reach. That way when my mom came with the roller she wouldn't have to stop to brush in any corners. Well after a long time of all this painting fun (said Rachel, her voice oozing with sarcasm) Susie my bestest friend in all world called. Her husband had thought that it would be great if he grilled hamburgers for our dinner. Susie convinced him that it would be even better to bring the whole thing over here after they were grilled. So Chris and Susie and their two boys came over laden with grilled burgers in a Tupperware, a tray full of every condiment that we might possibly need and even a side salad. Now do you see why she is the bestest? My mom had laid down to rest when they arrived saying that she was feeling extra fatigued. I figured that she needed a rest from the physical activity and especially the hot sun. I then called her for dinner but she wanted to continue resting so I waited until Chris and Susie wanted to pack up and go home before I said "Mom if you want a hamburger now is the time because they are packing up the food" She got about of bed that point and ate a hamburger. Now I may get a little evasive at this point, so please forgive me. I just am going to say that after a failed attempt at trying to paint again, a little off and on resting in the bed....the hamburger came back...not alone...he came armed with backup in the form of a lunchtime fruit salad. Now as I am getting a little sick myself I will switch the topic to what I was doing at that time.
I was outside,
I literally realized what a huge job we had undertaken....I also grimly realized that my mom,who was undeniably sick, would be out of commission for at least 3 days. Edgard was coming home in 6 days AAAAAAaaaaahhhhhh
Monday July 2nd---- I went out that day to start painting (my sister was still helping to babysit, thankfully) and my mom joined me for a little while but had to go in constantly to rest. One of the times that she came in I followed her and said "do you know anyone that would be insane enough to help us?" She did have a person in mind but everyone was at work and then she brightened up when she remembered that the person she had thought of, had Monday off.
Thomas the tank...
He came over (on his day off, I want to repeat) and thankfully he was not afraid of heights. That man painted until daylight was just an assumption and no longer a fact. Did I mention how hot it was outside? What a trooper and all for someone he didn't even know. After that he followed my sick mom home. She wanted to go home for the comfortable familiarity of her own bed while she was sick. Well that is what she said anyway. I maintain that she left because she couldn't stand the hunted, haunted, trapped rat look in my eyes every time I would drag my sweaty paint covered body in the house to check on her. I also want to mention that another friend of my mom's came over to help a few hours before she had to work and was a very fast painter. Thanks so much to Thomas and Mara for helping a crazy lady that you didn't even know.
Tuesday July 3rd----my darkest day. I had no babysitter. I had no help.
I called my mom to see how she was and she said that the would try to come ever after work on Thursday. I was freaking out big time then. I could work and get everything that I could do, done, but unless I had a genie or a magic wand, the top part of the house wasn't going to do itself. My part alone was still a ton of work anyway. I called my friend Michelle to whine and complain and I just have to say...do you know those types of "friends" who say that they will be there in times of crisis and when it happens they are the first to cut and run and leave you hanging? Well, I don't. Even before my mouth had a chance to form the word h-e-l-p, Michelle took charge. She called her husband and arranged with him to come over after work to help me paint while she would be inside with the kids and cook us dinner. At 5:15 p.m. they showed up.
Zog the warrior and the kitchen wench.
Zach ended up painting all the, visible from the street, turquoise so that when Edgard got home it would look as done as possible. He did most, practically all, of the first coat of the up high stuff. Meanwhile, back at the ranch Michelle was busy watching my two kids and her girl Maddy while being stomach-burstingly pregnant. Not only that but she put away the dishes in my dishwasher and tidied up my house, all while cooking a dinner she brought. Don't I have the greatest friends.
Wednesday July 4th----you can read more about that day in a previous post.
After Zach helped and got so much done the day before, I really woke up that morning with a good feeling for the first time since my mom got sick. I felt hopeful. After I returned home from home depot I put the kids to bed and was able to get the entire first coat done and get quite a bit through the second coat. I felt like whistling. If I had enough oxygen I might have done it too. My mom then came over and watched the kids while I got some much needed groceries and more paint (yes, more stinking paint). After I returned she cleaned the outside of the gutters and told me that she was planning to spend a full day helping me the next day. Chris and Susie took Anthony to the fireworks so that he wouldn't have to miss them just because his mom was a nutter. At that point I was working until 10:00 p.m. every night and then about a half hour on cleanup and then I would go inside to spend a couple of hours cleaning my house (I didn't want that to get out of hand during all of the other chaos).
Thursday July 5th----I took the kids over to Susie's house and came back home and got down to business My mom was there painting away. I then had to go pick up the kids.
Chris and Susie---The bestest friends!
After Chris got off of work he and Susie came over and both of them painted while I stayed in the house and watched all four of the kids. I would have thought I would have been more relaxed with my mom and my best friend and her husband all working on the house....but I felt trapped. I had been working practically night and day to get this done. And now I was inside the house doing nothing. I had completed the 1st and 2nd coat on 3/4th of the house and all that was left was the up high stuff that I couldn't do. But it was frustrating all the same. This was crunch time. I was leaving the next day to go surprise Edgard. At the end of the evening they had covered all remaining turquoise and had gotten a second coat on the front and one side of the house. Chris put the first coat on the most prominent trim. It wasn't done but it was enough to knock the socks (or huaraches) off of Edgard.
Later that night I installed the new doorknobs, house numbers, doorbell and thoroughly cleaned the house inside.
Friday July 6th---- With Edgard coming home the next day I left for the Hotel for Edgard's other surprise.
To be continued...
Monday, July 9, 2007
He is back and we are both exhausted.
I didn't get to weigh this morning so I will weigh tomorrow morning and announce it then, instead.
On with all the news!
future posts will be including, but not limited to:
before and after pictures,
one (pleasantly) surprised husband,
continental breakfasts (and lunches),
and one endless sleep deprived night!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
I am covered in paint and exhausted.
The house is not done....but done enough.
I have another suprise up my sleeve for Edgard. He is flying into a city that is 2 hours distant. When he left, he parked the truck at a motel for a lower fee than the airport's long term parking. Now he is going to arrive Saturday night at 10:00 p.m. and by the time that he goes through customs and catches the shuttle to the hotel to get his truck it will be quite late and he still has a two hour drive in front of him. So this is the plan. My mom is driving up to the same city tomorrow. The children and I will go ahead and drive my mom up to the hotel where she will take the pickup from there and continue on to her destination and we will stay at the hotel. When Edgard gets to the hotel, late and tired, he will see our car instead of the truck with a note saying "Your nutty little family is room ###".
I think that he will be very surprised and pleased since he has called saying that he is very homesick and lonely for us. Plus he can see the newly painted house in the daylight and with a little more sleep!
Now with my favorite Mexican coming back....I will be taking a very leeetle break from the blog. Don't worry though, as I will be back full force very soon with the after pictures of the house...and it looks very, very good!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
There will be no celebrating for me today....
I have a house to paint.
Did I mention that we are in the middle of a heatwave.
Did I also mention that today I am painting alone. Apparently people would rather go to barbecues and be with their families than help some crazy woman paint her house in 90+ degree weather on the fourth of July. Go figure.
Well I did get the children and myself out of the house for a few minutes today.
We went to Home Depot.
At least they got their face painted. The face painting lady was so nice...she asked me if I wanted my face painted. I politely said no with mental visions of being wheeled away in a straight jacket if I had to come into contact with anymore paint.
I am breathing, eating, smelling, wearing, dreaming paint...my life is consumed with paint.
At Home Depot I bought a doorbell (chrome) and matching front and back door handles with deadbolts also in chrome. Does any one else find it creepy that they are called Deadbolts?
I also bought one of those outdoor hose winder-upper thingies. It is cool because it actually has a little sink on the top. I am loving the idea of the kids washing their hands before they come in. My own outdoor miniature mud room for my minuscule house (you do what you can).
So I am heading back out with my paint shirt and my white shorty shorts----sorry neighbors---the only things whiter than these shorts are my legs.
My husband is going to be so stinking surprised...if this house painting doesn't kill me first.
p.s. don't forget to check back when I post about my painting angels.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
God has been answering my prayers about this painting fiasco. I am taking a quick lunch break so I cannot go into detail. I will post later about the people that he sent yesterday and is sending this evening. Just know, though, that I am truly thankful Please think of me, for the time being, painting alone while my kids are taking a nap (Irene) and quiet time (Anthony). I don't think I remember a time of such high stress so I still would appreciate some prayer for that right now.
Monday, July 2, 2007
first week 194.5
last week 191
pounds lost last week .05 pounds
total pounds lost 4
I figure that if I only lost a half a pound a week, I would have a permanent weight loss in two years. Two years are going to pass regardless so I shouldn't really complain about a steady---if small--- weight loss.
By the way---- still painting. My main painter (mom) was throwing up last night and still feels sick. The scary thing is that she is my up high, ladder using, painter. She is the essential painter as I am scared of heights. Now what? Send some prayer my way please.