here is the story my husband thought he voted for...

Just a little note: I didn't write this one. I found this joke on the internet about 5 years ago and copied it for Edgard's blue Monday jar. His blue Monday jar was a little jar that had 52 jokes in it. A joke for every Monday for when he didn't want to leave us to go to work. Well, the first year it had compliments. And I love him, but 52 compliments were hard enough......104 was another thing altogether. So year number two was the year of the jokes. Every Monday when he got up for work, he would be able to pick out a piece of paper and cheer himself up. The thought was that it would give him enough strength to leave us every week. Flash forward a few years...he now runs out the door....almost as if he is escaping.....I wonder if it has anything to do with the blue Monday jar being used for the year of bills.
So I offer for you, as a bonus,the artichoke story that Edgard thought he was voting for.

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife and arranging to have her killed.
A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid in part up front. The man opened up his wallet and displayed the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Safeway grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceeding were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband.
And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared: "Artie chokes two for a dollar at Safeway."