...we are all working parents...

So I have really been thinking a lot about the whole working mother/stay at home mother "feud."

Just lately I have taken a part time job as an administrative assistant. It is a two days a week job that is supposed to last through the summer. My mother babysits half the time and the teenage sister of my boss babysits the other. What has gotten me aggravated though, are all the well-intentioned people that are saying "oh, it is so good for you to get away from your children." I probably wouldn't get quite as annoyed if they were saying that it is good for me to get out into adult interaction...
this is very true...
....but they always, without fail, say: "away from my children." I know I am a bit biased, but my kids are really great and I don't have any desire to get away from them. Whenever I need a break, my husband will stay with them or even takes them out so I can have the house to myself (where I usually indulge in wild house cleaning sessions...what can I say...I'm an animal) or they go with Grandma, or my closest friend, Susie. They are not lacking for time away from me---nor I from them. I have also heard that they need to learn their independence. True. Don't worry, though, I have thought of that, as well. The transition to having a babysitter thrust into their lives while I work was so smooth they didn't even miss me.

I have been getting the impression, as I have always, that people really do not believe that to stay home with my kids was a choice for me. A choice that I am well aware that I am lucky to have. I wasn't forced into it by my macho Mexican husband. Yes....I was asked that as well. This was my choice, supported by my husband, and a lot of thought went into it. I thought about the social aspect, the independence and every other thing that I could think of that would affect the kids, as well as my relationship with my husband.

I also know that there are plenty of mothers who are working and wish they could stay home...and many more who are working and wouldn't want it any other way. My own mother worked while I was growing up. I just wish we could all see, and accept that we have made choices which are relevant to ourselves and our own situations and stop downgrading these choices in others.

Another friend of mine, who works outside the home full time, is very happy with her decision and I am definitely in awe over that---so many things to juggle. I respect her choice to do this---it isn't the choice for me but nevertheless I respect it. But not too far back she asked me "so what do you do all day?" I found myself being taken aback because it was the first time I had actually been asked this oft-clichéd question. I remember trying to mumble out a list of everything that I did in a day...a sort of schedule...but who can honestly do that? Every single day presents different challenges...something new. The next day, when I thought about it...I wished I would have said "everything that you pay your daycare provider to do, plus anything you do when you get home, as well as all the mother guilt and worry." But what can I say, being a stay at home mom has melted my brain from lack of use. Honestly, though, I do wish we could all just respect everyone's choices and try our hardest not to say anything stupid.

So what about you? Are you a working mom, a stay at mom (or dad) who has had to field thoughtless, insensitive, ignorant questions or statements about your chosen way to parent? How did you respond...or wish you had responded?

my questions--your answers--and another question...

• What attracts you to the blogs that you like?

John says:
Insightful commentary, informed author, a topic I am already interested in, and (if you promise not to tell my wife this) if it is written by a beautiful woman that certainly helps. Hey, it is something that catches my eye and gets my attention.

Groovybabe says:
…subject matter, writing ability, visual look... that’s initially...

Mamacita Chilena says:
For me the blog either has to be a subject I'm interested in, or if it's not a subject that interests me, it needs to be very well written, and usually funny.

• What keeps you coming back?

John says:
Consistent posts, high quality, some humor.

Groovybabe says:
interesting content and interaction (someone who comments on my journal as well as me on theirs)

Ten Pound Club says:
Writing style is important. I also need to feel a connection. I enjoy seeing pictures. And I love your sense of humor--a huge draw!

• What detracts from one?

John says:
No consistency in posting!

Groovybabe says:
bad layout, cramped layout, lack of updates, someone who doesnt comment on mine...

• What makes you decide you don't like a particular blog?

John says:
Boring, a topic I am not interested in, author who doesn't seem committed to keeping up their blog.

Groovybabe says:
it is different each time. Sometimes I think if someone gets heaps of comments all the time, they probably wont be interested in me... if they don’t update I lose interest too.

On the other hand, Mamacita Chilena says:
Consistency isn't a factor for me since I have blogs on my Google reader. If they update I see it, if they don't, I don't lose any time checking.

Which brings me to another question for all of you who find yourself at three day blog more than once. How do you find your way back? Do you subscribe in a feed aggregator such as Google reader, bloglines or another? Or do you have me bookmarked in your favorites? Leave me a comment and let me know...and hey...if you haven't already...subscribe to me.

interrogation

So I have a question, or two, for all of you. It concerns bloggers and non-bloggers alike.

• What attracts you to the blogs that you like?

• What keeps you coming back?

• What detracts from one?

• What makes you decide you don't like a particular blog?

Each question that I am asking pertains to content, appearance and any other aspects of blogs.
So speak up, comment...be heard.
I am very interested to know.
If you have been reading and you have never commented...then consider this your big chance.
I would love to hear from you.

hot diggity blog

Update Below

The whole blogging phenomenon is quite fascinating and the reasons for having one is varied. I have met so many people and been invited into so many lives and in turn invited others in. I have learned much in the past year and still have immeasurably more to learn.

On a side note, I did design the blog header and footer for a friend/blogger so by all means check it out Link update: http://browneyedgirl30.blogspot.com and be sure and leave her a comment telling her how lucky she is to have a friend like me....hee hee...oh man, I crack me up.

When I asked why you all blogged---I got the answers that I think are pretty typical reasons for everyone yet each and every blog is as unique as a

fingerprint.

And by the way.... about my mom reading my blog. She only reads it when I ask "mom, did you read my blog?" Then she scrambles to get caught up.

Even worse is my husband...he only reads because he fears retribution.

My best friend reads it for entertainment...not the entertainment I am striving for here at three day blog...

...more the, my best friend Rachel is a complete nerd, type of entertainment.

If you missed it---here are the comments from my last blog post--your own personal reasons:

tenpounds said...

That's a good question. It will be interesting to read what others have to say. I blog to have a place to put my thoughts--and to have the good fortune of meeting you!

Shane Vander Hart said...

I blog to share my thoughts on life, culture, news, politics, and theology. I think everybody is entitled to my opinion! I also enjoy the interaction when people comment. It helps me to be better read as well.

Mamacita Chilena said...

hmm, I used to blog to get things off my chest. Then when I realized other people were actually reading, sometimes I would blog to start interesting discussions or to try and see if other people were going through similar experiences. I guess my main motivations vary, depending on the day.

LikeAstaR said...

wait... your mom reads your blog? Wish mine did. Just kidding, she occasionally drops by. I started to blog to maintain relationships with family that lives far away, it has morphed into a more social network.. like you said.. no matter how "nerdy!"

Gustogirl said...

Pretty much the same reason you do, except I wish my mom would read my blog. If she does, she is a silent reader because she never comments.

Felicia said...

Yep, all that stuff you said is true. I like to keep a record of good things that happen so that the bad stuff fades away :)

what is the point?

...so then I asked myself..."what is the point of blogging?"
"Nothing."
I answer myself, you see.
Just like a real honest to goodness crazy person.

Nope...no point to blogging, except for the creative outlet, coupled with the satisfaction of seeing some proof that our nerdly existence is accepted...even if it's only by other nerdly bloggers like ourselves.
...you know...that reach out and touch someone, happy feeling that all of us social networkers get when someone "gets" us.
We haven't had that kind of acceptance since---well...since mom started reading our blogs on day one.
And that feeling, my friends, is what keeps us going.

Leave me a comment and tell me what is your main motivation?

Why do you blog...?

blog designing fool

UPDATE: (I need to do a huge shout out to Amanda Fazani at Blogger Buster---because without her tutorials I would not have been able to do this. You can definitely find template tutorials on the web but they are not always clear or updated. With Blogger Buster, everything you need is in one spot and very easy to understand. However, if you are more interested in the social side of blogging rather than the technical---then I think playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren is a great place to start. Jennifer has some great ideas, backed by experience, along with useful links, all in a neat concise little series)
End of update.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
So I have finally unveiled my new blog (re)design.
What do you think?
If you are having trouble remembering exactly what it looked like before... here is a screenshot, taken shortly before I started fiddling with it.

You may have to click on it to get a better look.

go ahead
click...
...you know you have to

cure
ee
os
it
tee


hee hee hee


Some of the new features are--
a custom header, as well as, less useless garbage information in the sidebar plus I now have tabs that you can click on to navigate---which is what helped me declutter my sidebar. Less noticeable, but no less important, I have widened the post section, sidebar section, and wrapper to fit a standard computer screen. Classic blogger templates tended to be a little on the narrow side so that people with most size monitors would have no trouble seeing all of our precious, bloggy goodness. But now that we are all getting on board with the no computers manufactured before 1996, bandwagon, we can all afford to loosen up the belt buckle and let it all hang out---
so to speak...
---not literally...please.


Just a note: I use Firefox as my browser (I highly recommend it) and everything seems to be fine. After checking internet explorer (I highly recommend running, not walking, away from IE) everything seems to be visible there, as well. If you use another browser or system and find that you are not seeing three day blog in all of it's glory...please let me know what you use, along with the problem you are having, and I will try to fix it. I want my frighteningly pointless blog to be accessible to everyone---regardless of race, creed, or computer preference.

So now it is up to you to tell me, good or bad, what you think of the redesign. I am open to all comments, opinions, suggestions, and especially compliments. I don't even require them to be sincere...I take what I can get and I like it!
But honestly folks...I really am open to the opinions and suggestions...I am very interested in what visually appeals to the typical blog reader. What am I doing wrong...or right...or could do a bit better. If you don't speak up now then you will be stuck looking at this blog design for at least a year---or five minutes...

however long it takes to change my mind...