So I would like to introduce you to my diet buddy.
I just have to say, right off the bat, that I don't in any way like shrek, or anything to do with shrek---I like my humor clever, not crude---but when my daughter, Irene, got this toy in her happy meal, I took it away intending to toss it out. It was then that I realized that there was something familiar about the pudgy body and round face with red hair. She looks just like my future. If I gain anything else---I will look like this. This can not happen. There still is time---I do not resemble this---yet. I decided right then and there that I would leave this toy on my desk to remind me of what I am working to avoid.
Flash forward two weeks later. My daughter wants to play with mommy's toy. She cannot reach it. Mommy realizes her minion Anthony is close by and can fetch it for Irene---thus avoiding the problem of mommy expending any unnecessary energy. Hey...we are all trying to do our part to keep things green. What can I say? Anthony leaves a much smaller carbon footprint than I do. So here is how it went down:
Me: Anthony? Can you get down mommy's toy and give it to Irene?
Anthony: Your toy? What is your toy?
Me: You know...the one on my desk. The one that looks like me.
Anthony: (in a plaintive tone) oooooohhhh no...Mommy no! .......You don't have a crown.
I may shoot myself later...but you can bet it won't be because I lack a crown!!